


Healing Tears

by thehelldoievenputhere



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chuck Shurley's A+ Parenting, F/F, Feels, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 11:51:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14043690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehelldoievenputhere/pseuds/thehelldoievenputhere
Summary: Billie comforts Raphael





	Healing Tears

"You know this is bound to come back to bite you, right?" Raphael sighed, rubbing her vessel's forehead lightly.

"Billie..."

"I'm just saying, the Winchesters always manage to come out on top. Somehow." Raphael lifted her head to look at the reaper.

"What other choice do I have? I can't let Michael _or_  Lucifer stay in the cage. They don't deserve it. No one does."

"Raph... Maybe, if you explained that to the Winchesters and their pet angel, they would understand. They just think you want the apocalypse, and considering how hard they fought against that, is it any surprise that they're trying to stop you?"

"I can't let _anyone_ , angel or otherwise know that archangels are not as absolute or indestructible as they believe."

" _I_  know." Raphael smiled softly.

"You're different." She raised a hand to gently stroke down Billie's cheek. Billie smiled.

"But, most have realised that archangels are not indestructible after what the Winchesters manages to pull. You know _that_ , right?"

"I know, but it's different. They managed to overcome destiny, but they were already key players. They caged Michael and Lucifer, but this is more than that. If anyone knew..." Raphael trailed off, and turned her head to the side in an unnecessary attempt to hide from Billie. When had she started using such inane human mannerisms?

"You don't want them to know that archangels have feelings." Billie knew how to read Raphael. But that was hardly a surprise, they had known each other for millennia, after all. Raphael smiled and turned back to face her.

"Is it any surprise I don't want them to know? After all we've done to them..." Billie was the one who raised her hand to cup Raphael's cheek, this time.

"It is _not_  your fault, Raphael. You didn't know what would happen when you gave Naomi her orders. You had no way to know that it would wipe angels of their ability to experience emotions. And when you found out, it was too late too do anything about it."

"I should have tried harder. I should have done _something_. I just... gave up." Raphael broke from Billie's touch and turned away, her arms wrapping around her. "I just let my siblings, my _baby siblings_  be brain washed. They were practically fledglings when it started. It's all my fault."

"No." Billie stepped forward and grabbed Raphael's arm, pulling her tight into her embrace. "You did not know. You could not have known. It is not your fault." Her voice was steel, uncompromising until the very end.

"But... I--"

"No. It. Is. _Not_. Your. Fault. Get that into your head." Billie ran her fingers through Raphael's hair, and tilted her head up to meet her eyes. "I'm sure one thing no one could ever argue about archangels is their stubbornness. You didn't know."

"I should have taken more time with the theory before telling Naomi what to do. I--I should have..."

"You wanted your baby siblings not to feel such intense pain. Anyone with a hint of compassion would have wanted the same. You saw them grieving, you saw them filled with confusion at how that could have happened, you saw them start to break. _No one_  wants to see _any_  sibling of theirs break, let alone a baby one. You were seeing _thousands_  of your _baby siblings_  breaking. It's no surprise that you did what you did. As you said, archangels have feelings. You experience emotions. And, on top of watching your baby siblings breaking, you were also going through what they were, only even stronger. You were much closer with Lucifer, with _Samael_ , than they were. He _raised_  you." Raphael buried her head into Billie's chest.

"Where did it all go wrong?" Her voice was miles away from steel, clearly wavering, and just a whisper away from breaking. "Samael was beautiful, in much more than just appearance. He was _light_. Why... why did he--" she gulped-- "why did he warp Lilith? We could have been happy. We may not have agreed with Father's command, but we obeyed because we loved him. Lucifer refused and he was cast out! And then, he had to prove his point and do _that_... Why?" Billie tightened her grip.

"I know you think that you loved your Father, but what you had wasn't love. It was blind devotion. I think Lucifer saw that and wanted to show you too. He didn't want that for you. Your Father had given humans free will, and Samael saw what that meant. He hadn't given you free will, despite all you had done for him, and Samael didn't think that was fair. I think he knew that he couldn't convince your Father of anything, I think he was trying to convince _you_. I think he wanted you to see how unfair it was and join him. But then God ordered _Michael_  to lock him up. Michael _raised_  Samael, just like Samael raised you, and you raised Gabriel. Can you imagine locking Gabriel up?" Raphael shuddered in Billie's arms. "And that wasn't enough for God. He didn't just stop there. He ordered Michael to _kill_  him when Lucifer got out. What kind of parent _does_  that?" Raphael sobbed, and just like that the floodgates opened. Tears were soaking through Billie's top, but she just held tight, stroking down Raphael's back. She needed this, she had been bottling it up for _far_  too long.

Raphael's sobs calmed, and eventually ceased. Billie continued stroking down her back. Raphael sniffled and lifted her head, her eyes red from all the tears.

"I've never cried before," she said, voice completely mystified.

"You needed it," Billie said. "Do you feel better now?" Raphael tilted her head to one side.

"Yes. But why would that help?"

"Crying releases all your pent up emotions. It's why humans do it so often, they feel strongly. And as long as you've been bottling up your emotions, it's no wonder you needed to cry for so long."

"How--" Raphael cleared her throat-- "how long was I crying?"

"Over three hours." Raphael looked to the ground and frowned.

"Oh."

Billie slid a hand under Raphael's chin, and tilted her head up. She leaned in and pressed her lips softly to Raphael's. Raphael smiled against her lips and pressed back.


End file.
